Pathways
by astareltheweeper
Summary: A post All Things fic in which I used the word path waaay too many times! It is serious though... Please R&R!


Rating: K+ I think.

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't own, you don't sue!

Summary: So I wrote a post All Things fic. Bite me!

Author's Note: I found this floating around on my hard drive... I think I wrote it after watching Tooms. I always wondered if Scully had considered buying the iced tea! I don't really like this fic, in fact I avoided writing a post-AT fic like the plague but I guess I succumbed as most fic writers do! It feels very OOC to me, but I guess I just wanted a second opinion. Please do let me know what you thought. Be as harsh as you like.

"Mulder?"

"Scully, I thought you were asleep."

"I was... sort of."

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

Mulder came to sit beside her on the sofa. He had been on his way into the kitchen and had stumbled over his basketball. Spectacularly. In fact, it had really been worthy of television. Had they been having a more light-hearted discussion before Scully had fallen asleep, he would have related the details of the whole thing to her. He was quite proud that he had managed to maintain his balance. He had given his elbow a nasty knock though, and he rubbed it as he sat down.

"I honestly don't know. It doesn't matter though, there's something I want to talk to you about. Are you ok?"

She had noticed him rubbing his arm. He grinned sheepishly.

"You missed quite a display there Scully. I had a disagreement with my basketball."

He held up the offending object. She smiled at him and rubbed his arm fondly.

"I don't know how they ever gave you a gun."

"Nor do I as a matter of fact. But what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Her face creased into a frown for a moment. The mood had gotten lighter now; she felt that the time to say what she was going to say had passed.

"Never mind, it's not important."

Mulder never ceased to be puzzled by this woman. At times, she was glaringly obvious and yet sometimes he had absolutely no idea what was going on in her head. She had been through a lot in the past few days, so he was sure that if she wanted to bring something up now, it was something that she felt needed to be said.

"Well humour me. I'm curious."

Scully sighed and leaned back into the sofa, pulling the afghan around her for protection. She pulled her stockinged feet up underneath her and chewed on her lip for a moment before speaking.

"Do you remember the Eugene Tooms case, when I was first assigned to the X-Files?"

"How could I forget? I couldn't get that bile out of my shirt... I had to throw it out!"

He smiled at her, but quickly stopped. He could see that she was trying to broach a serious subject. 'Try not to screw up for once, idiot.' His look urged her to continue speaking.

"When... when you were surveiling him, after he was released, and I brought you some food... this is going to sound stupid."

"No, please... I remember."

Mulder crossed his arms on top of the basketball and leaned forward. Scully was silent for a moment. Her normally articulate mind was being very clumsy in this situation. It was fogged by the emotional experience of the past few days. Her faith in herself and the decisions she made had been shaken. Now, as she looked at each moment in her life, she saw millions of possibilities. She was never sure anymore, whether she was choosing the right one. But she was trying to choose the right one now. Her scientific mind wasn't telling her that this was right... her heart was telling her. As strange as it sounded, Dr. Scully the sceptic was following her instincts on this one and going out on a limb. She opted for the blunt approach, being unable to think of anything else to say.

"I was going to buy iced tea."

Mulder's face creased in a frown. Not because he didn't remember; he remembered that conversation very clearly. It was the first time he had realised that Scully's loyalty really was to him, and only him. She was there risking her job and her future because of a hunch of his. That was the moment that it hit him just how much she meant to him. He hadn't loved her then, no, that had come later. But he had felt it, that strange feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you know that you care about the person sitting next to you more than you had consciously known before. He had covered his unease the only way he knew how; cracked a joke. But it was an uncomfortably accurate joke, and the look betrayed in Scully's eyes at the time had told him that she had been struck by the same realisation.

Mulder was frowning now, because he knew where Scully was taking this conversation. He wasn't sure how he felt about that just yet. She was emotionally vulnerable right now, and these weren't the circumstances under which he would have chosen to have the discussion. In fact, he would have preferred not to have the conversation at all; he would much rather have just kissed her, like he did in the hospital not long ago, and let that speak for itself.

"Oh?"

It was the only thing he could think to say. Damnit, why wasn't he better at this? He was a psychologist for God's sake... He could see her head droop. He was making this difficult to for her and he knew it. She looked him sharply in the eye.

"Mulder, please tell me that you know what I'm talking about, otherwise this is going to take painful explanation."

He decided to cut her a break and stick his neck out there. After all, Scully was the only one he would do that for.

"Why?"

Relief flooded her face. His tone told her what he was asking. He was asking why and why not. Why had she been going to buy iced tea? Why didn't she? And why, oh why did she love him? Why was she bringing this up now? Why had she chosen a life with him?

"I don't know. I reached for it at first, but then I hesitated. I wasn't sure if it was the right choice. I didn't know if you liked it or not, I mean I was pretty sure that you did but... In the moment that I paused, another man came and took it. It was the last one there so I took a root beer instead."

She had addressed this entire speech to her feet. It was probably the least eloquent thing she had ever said, but she was tired and nervous and not a little stressed out. She was also frustrated that they both had to go through this whole song and dance to admit to each other what she was pretty sure they both already knew. She looked up at him now as he spoke.

"Scully, different choices lead us down different paths. Looking at my life, I have no authority to say which path is right and which isn't. But I believe, with certainty, that there are some moments, some people to which all choices might lead. I don't share your faith in God, but I believe in fate. I believe that we control our own, but there are some things that are meant to happen to us. I always blamed myself that Sam was taken, but I don't think that there was anything I could have done, anything I was meant to do. My search for her led me here, to the X-Files, to you. All these things were meant to happen Scully, and there's not a damn thing we could have done about them."

Scully was silent for a moment, expecting him to continue. Finally, she answered in a quiet voice.

"Does that mean that it wasn't meant to happen then, or it wasn't meant to happen at all Mulder? Are these signs here for a purpose, or can we ignore them as we choose and make our own path, calling it the right one?"

She was talking about the iced tea again. All these metaphors were making his head spin.

"Scully, I don't believe in right and wrong when it comes to this. I believe in knowing; knowing what path to take and taking it. It may have a bad ending, in which case you could call it wrong, but it would be worth the journey, in which case it was right. I believe... well for starters I believe that I'm damn sick of talking about iced tea and root beer instead of saying I love you."

A long moment passed, one which felt like an eternity to Mulder, but then Scully was in his arms; her chin on his shoulder and her arms wrapped around his neck. He held her, awkwardly at first, but then relaxing into the embrace. He spoke into her hair:

"Scully, I don't want you to feel like you have to take this path; that it was forced upon you or that it is your only option. The X-Files doesn't have to be your life... I don't have to..."

He could hear Scully sniff and when she leaned back to look him in the eyes, he could see tears brimming in hers.

"Mulder, I chose the X-Files. I've had the option to transfer many times. The path that I'm choosing now is one that I have wanted to take for a long time... because I love you and wherever that path may lead, it's the one that I'm taking. With you."

Now was the moment for Mulder to act on his previous impulse. He was sick to the teeth of talking. They had finally said it out loud, though he wasn't sure why they had needed to. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. He didn't think, he just did. For the first time he could kiss Scully, _his_ Scully, without wondering whether or not it was okay, or having to make do with her equivalent from the past. He didn't need New Years as an excuse. He didn't need to look at her wistfully but restrain those thoughts from going to far. He could hold her without knowing that he would have to let go soon. He stroked her soft face gently with his thumbs as she kissed him back.

Scully pulled Mulder in closer to her, as he parted his lips and deepened the kiss. She heard the basketball drop to the floor as he moved his hands to her waist and lowered her gently down onto the sofa. Their lips parted just as she lay down and she blinked at him in confusion when he didn't move.

"Mulder?"

She gently nuzzled into his face.

"God I love you Scully."

She smiled.

"I know, you told me that." She kissed him, gently, with none of the passion and insistence that had been there before.

"Mulder, if this is too much for you..."

"Scully, I don't want you to regret anything that happens tonight. If you're doing this because you feel you have to, or..."

"Mulder. Trust me. I love you."

She pulled him down into a passionate kiss. Mulder lifted her gently from the sofa. She wrapped her legs around his waist as they rose, lips never parting. The bedroom door shut with a click.

A/N: This is the last fic I'll be writing for a while. School starts back with a vengeance tomorrow :( So sorry to those of you following my high school fic but there mightn't be updates for a while... please do bear with me...


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